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Almost too good, in fact its small details expressing how it feels to not trust your own actions, or how a fear of social interaction expresses itself in every moment, feel almost too familiar to bear. Anna can see the emptiness of the blame inside her, and so she hates herself most of all.Īnna’s unhappiness isolates her, and When Marnie Was There is very, very good at portraying isolation. Holding grudges can feel like a kind of justice, but it eats away at us far more surely than it brings any peace. Anna blames all of these caretakers for abandoning or disappointing her, but her anger brings her no happiness – in fact, it only hurts her more. Her parents and grandmother died when she was young, and as she tells her mysterious confidant Marnie, sometimes she feels like she “can’t forgive them for leaving me all alone.” Anna doesn’t see any relief from her foster parents, either having learned they receive subsidies from the government for raising her, she can’t trust their love, and has become so distant that her foster mother sends her to the country in hopes that a new atmosphere might do her good. Forgiveness means acknowledging that things aren’t fair, and that sometimes we must give more than we take, and that embracing others in spite of pain is a constant wager of sacrifice, a road on which the friction of disappointment may one day wear down the strength of our love.Īnna begins When Marnie Was There with her love all worn away. We want others to understand how much they’ve hurt us, and to give us back the hurt they’ve caused. When we are wronged by others, when we are abandoned or let down, we don’t want to simply accept that pain as the cost of engagement. As self-focused creatures, we want to believe in a just world, one that will repay our pain with some equal kindness or justice.